


To Strike a Match

by Shadowkirby135



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Hale Family Feels, Hurt Derek, Hurt Derek Hale, M/M, Minor Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Psychological Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 18:43:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16225055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowkirby135/pseuds/Shadowkirby135
Summary: Everything he ever loved, it was just gone. Taken. Now here he is, a broken man left to pick of the pieces of his shattered life. Traumatized but in charge of three teenage betas he bit on a power trip after he tore out his uncles burning throat.It was just one remark.





	To Strike a Match

It was just one remark. One crass, off-hand remark from Peter that shouldn't have affected him as badly as it did. Not after all the time he's had to heal.

**Heal? Please.**

Derek shook his head, erasing that specific thought from his mind. Deflection and compartmentalizing were his strong suits and he'd be damned if he was going to be weak in front of his pack.

**Second pack. After all...you killed your first.**

His eyes glowed red at the intrusive thought, but he could feel his wolf whining at the reminder of what he'd done. He made eye contact with Stiles but quickly looked away. He turned around with his head held high as if he was dismissing his mate instead of running from him. Walking out of his loft, he tried to mask the absolute anguish he felt inside as he fled from his home, desperate to get away from Peter's judgment and Stiles' painfully understanding expression.

**Coward.**

Pictures of his family's faces raced through his mind, everyone he'd ever loved smiling and happy and _alive._ Memories of everyone laughing at the dinner table, of watching his mom and dad chew out Laura's first boyfriend, of telling his sister about his first crush. All of the good things he remembers, every possible flashback he could have about his family.

Everything he remembered was _tainted._

Tainted by Paige's death.

Tainted by Laura's death at his Peter's hands.

Tainted by Kate.

Tainted by his family burning.

Everything he ever loved, it was just gone. Taken. Now here he is, a broken man left to pick of the pieces of his shattered life. Traumatized but in charge of three teenage betas he bit on a power trip after he tore out his uncles burning throat.

It was just one remark.

_"Talia would be so disappointed."_

His fingers tightened on his steering wheel, claws threatening to come out but forcing restraint to avoid damaging yet another thing that belonged to someone he loved. It was Laura's, and he wasn't going to ruin anything else that belonged to his family.

_"Talia would be so disappointed."_

God, he was right.

Derek put the car in gear and drove, desperate to get away from the loft and from his pack inside while memories of his past mistakes haunted him. Everything he did, from Kate until now, was poisoned by his need to punish himself for what he'd done, and Peter's comment was the final nail in his self built coffin.

He wasn't sure how long he drove for, but when he stopped he looked around and saw a shimmering lake and familiar greenery, all looked upon by a single old wooden bench.

_Laura's secret hideaway._

**You let her get killed and now you're going to invade her hiding place? The place she only showed you because she _trusted_ you?**

Derek paused, one foot barely out the door while his entire body tensed up. He'd come here on autopilot, needing to be alone in a place where he felt safe. He felt _safe_ here, but he shouldn't.

He had no right too.

Not after what he did to her.

Slowly pulling his foot back inside, he grabbed the car door and slowly closed it. Reaching for the ignition with his keys in hand, he paused as soon as the key touched it. He didn't deserve to step outside, but that didn't mean that he had to leave.

Derek took his hand away from the ignition, placing the keys into his pocket before he closed his eyes and just breathed, soaking up the serenity of the hideaway.

Minutes passed in utter silence, and then all of a sudden Derek startled upward. His eyes drifted to the glove compartment, and he reached out a hand to open it for the first time since Laura had died. He opened the latch and looked inside, wondering if it was still there after all these years.

It was.

Along the clutter sitting in the glove box was a book, and Derek felt his arm tremble as he reached for it. Pulling it out, he ran his fingers over the cover almost reverently, tracing the words with a hesitant touch. He opened the cover page and saw the first photo they took when Cora was born.

A Photo Album.

He continued to flip through the pages, looking at the faces of his family, everyone smiling and together. His dad and his mom looking at each other like they hung the moon. Laura and himself on his first day of high school. His first basketball game. Cora running in the backyard with their cousins. The day Laura got the Camaro. So many photos where everyone was smiling. Where everyone was happy.

Where everyone was _alive_.

Derek flipped through the rest of the album, wanting to remember what his family looked like smiling but mostly needing remind himself that it's his fault they're gone. He got to the last used page and closed his eyes, memories flooding back and all singed at the edges. Opening them again while forcing the memories and emotions down, he tried to close the book when the peak of a photo showed up on the last page of the book.

He turned to the last page and froze, staring at a photo he thought was destroyed.              

His entire family, aunts and uncles and cousins, all standing and smiling at the camera. His _pack_. All posed and happy and oblivious to the fact that not even a week later they would all burn. His eyes raked over the photo until he saw himself. Before Paige. Before Kate. He was _smiling_.        

Derek took his eyes off the photo of himself, the memory of who he used to be almost too much. Looking at the page, he noticed a note in the corner.

He had to physically stop himself from recoiling.

_Something to help you remember that we will always be with you_

_Happy Birthday my dear little wolf,_

_I love you_

 

It was his mother's handwriting.

For the first time since the fire, Derek let himself cry.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry it's been so long, but here's a little ficlet for y'all and I hope it pulled your heartstrings! Also hope you liked the little Up reference with Ellie's adventure book. Until next time my loves!!


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